party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
