Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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