I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
