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If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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