I want to have your abortion
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
