Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pooping to opera.
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