he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
