Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
