You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize
