Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
