Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
