omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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