If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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