Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
