Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
