just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
