yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize