Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize