No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
