...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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