you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's never too late to be topless.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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