And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
