She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
