How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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