the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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