this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
