When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
