i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
