if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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