I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
