i think i have herpe
just one?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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