I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
