And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
