Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
