It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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