I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
