So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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