True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
