Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
