I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
