Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
ok first of all what the fuck
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
