yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
