you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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