I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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