covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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