It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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