take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
