No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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