i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Someone signed my nipple.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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