My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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