I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
