Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
