Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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