OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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