And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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