someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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