we're chasing vodka with high fives
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
