Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
