I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
