On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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