wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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