I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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