Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
is that a dick in a sweater?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
