Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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