I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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