idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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